Sticks and Stones

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can definitely hurt me. It's amazing how mistakes can haunt you the rest of your life. It's unbelievable how harsh words can creep up under your skin and bite you. I found out the other day that apparently people think I'm shallow and skanky. My immediate verbal response was to just shrug it off and not worry about what other people think of me. The seed had been planted though. The people who say these things about me are defintely not a part of my every day circle of life, so why should I care what they think...right? I do. It got me thinking "am i shallow?" Do the people who think I'm a bad person...are they right? I've always thought I was an alright gal. I mean I know I messed up but isn't that what second chances are for? Well, it's really getting to me. Now I'm even doubting the authenticity of some of the people who claim to be my friend. How do I know what you really think of me? How do I know if what you tell me to my face is true, when I hear that you say things about me behind my back. Words really do hurt. I know I care too much about what others think of me, but in this culture appearances are everything. Apparently, second chances don't actually exist. Oh they do in name...but forgive and forget? That's not real. I wish people could get to know me before judging me. I wish people actually cared. I wish people would watch what they say because words can have a lasting effect and can really wound someone. I wish people would understand, accept and move on from the fact that I have been stupid and dumb and I own up to my mistakes. But I'm not the only one who makes mistakes. Let it go.